The Coolmobile

I frequently see this parked behind the Sherman Oaks Gelsons. I need to meet the person who drives this.

The Power Of Point Dread!

The eighties were a beautiful car wreck awash in irresponsible marketing that preyed on the tender, impressionable minds of America's children. They sold us laser-tag guns that got us shot by cops, hooked us on video games that made us into fat, lethargic zombies and infiltrated our minds with the dark sorcery and homo-erotic undertones of He-Man and the Masters Of The Universe. Go ahead and download the audio file and accompanying read-along book below. Then - while enjoying story points including a villain who resembles death on steroids, an old man getting crushed by falling rocks, a character plummeting to an implied demise and enough occult imagery to knock out a priest - keep in mind that I was given this in 1983 at the age of 5. If you showed this to a contemporary five-year-old child whose diet consists of steady helpings of Hannah Montana and Pokemon, he'd probably start wetting the bed and cutting himself.

Psh. Kids today are fags.

To Download:
(Mac) - right click or Control click>"Save Linked File As".
(PC) - right click>"Save As"

HE-MAN READ-ALONG BOOKLET

HE-MAN AUDIO FILE

The Most Wicked-Sweet Vest Ever!

Fuckin' A goddaamn right they do.

The Talking Dr. Laura Doll

You wanna have a pissing match over who owns the most ridiculously and mind numbingly stupid tchotchke? You wanna call out the fuckin' thunder? Go ahead because I guarantee you that I win. I've won before the competition even begins. And that's because I own the goddamn motherfucking Talking Dr. Laura Doll. That's right, shut up and go home.