The eighties were a beautiful car wreck awash in irresponsible marketing that preyed on the tender, impressionable minds of America's children. They sold us laser-tag guns that got us shot by cops, hooked us on video games that made us into fat, lethargic zombies and infiltrated our minds with the dark sorcery and homo-erotic undertones of He-Man and the Masters Of The Universe. Go ahead and download the audio file and accompanying read-along book below. Then - while enjoying story points including a villain who resembles death on steroids, an old man getting crushed by falling rocks, a character plummeting to an implied demise and enough occult imagery to knock out a priest - keep in mind that I was given this in 1983 at the age of 5. If you showed this to a contemporary five-year-old child whose diet consists of steady helpings of Hannah Montana and Pokemon, he'd probably start wetting the bed and cutting himself.
Psh. Kids today are fags.
To Download:
(Mac) - right click or Control click>"Save Linked File As".
(PC) - right click>"Save As"
(Mac) - right click or Control click>"Save Linked File As".
(PC) - right click>"Save As"
