Robert Johnson

Here's a sketch of Robert Johnson. The hell hounds are just out of frame.

The Awkward Dinner

click to enlarge

This drawing has no inherent meaning or purpose. It's just tits on a table. Nothing more. Nothing less.

Mondo-cool shit at Mondotees.Com!

Do you like indie screen print design? Do you like cult movies, nerd culture and shit like that? Then why are you still sitting there like an asshole? Quit fucking around and go to Mondo.

MONDOTEES.COM

The Most Wicked-Sweet Vest Ever!

Fuckin' A goddaamn right they do.

Old Monster Drawings

You want stupid crap like this hanging on your refrigerator? Then don't let your kid play sports and instead let him watch shitty horror movies about ten to fifteen years earlier than is advisable. Voila! Be warned that one likely side effect of this will be that he'll grow up and start a shitty blog where he posts titty drawings and songs he recorded in his bedroom about driving over people's boyfriends.

You Never Wanna Hang Around Me Anymore

Here's my newest song about heartache and turmoil. Click the link to listen or download for your iTunes bizness.

To Download:
(Mac) - right click or Control click>"Download Linked File".
(PC) - right click>"Save As"

YOU NEVER WANNA HANG AROUND ME ANYMORE

Bob Log III

If you put Les Claypool, Tom Waits, and Buckethead into the transporter from The Fly, Bob Log is what they would all aggregate into at the other end.

"I Ran Over Your Boyfriend"

My new single just dropped today. Click the link to listen or download the fucker and dump it in your iTunes bizness.

To Download:
(Mac) - right click or Control click>"Download Linked File".
(PC) - right click>"Save As"

I RAN OVER YOUR BOYFRIEND

Euroboy

You'd be hard pressed to find a better bone-ass skinny, denim-clad guitar player from Norway than Euroboy.

Check out some more of Euroboy's chops here, as Youtube won't let me embed this particular video.

The Power Mac G4: A Tribute

So long, Power Mac, and thanks for all the memories.

Death: "For The Whole World To See"

Here's the lowdown on For The Whole World To See in a nutshell:

3 brothers who were brothas from Detroit recorded a punk album before punk existed. They called themselves Death and almost got signed by Columbia Records but the whole deal fell through when they refused to change their name. Then the record got shelved and they moved to Vermont to play reggae. The end.

Until now. Enjoy.

"Politicians In My Eyes"

3 Shit-Ass Horror Flicks You Should Watch

DEAD HEAT, 1988

Starring Joe Piscopo, Treat Williams

PLOT:

Detectives Doug Bigelow (Piscopo) and Roger Mortis (Williams) fight a crime spree perpetrated by an army of indestructible zombies reanimated in some contraption called the "Resurrection Machine" by a mad scientist hell bent on money, power and immortality. After Mortis is killed in the line of duty, his partner desperately tosses him into the machine, transforming him into an unstoppable zombie cop, thus evening the playing field for an epic zombie take down.

MY TAKE:

It's Evil Dead meets Lethal Weapon. It's also a vile, reeking pile of shit. If anyone ever needed an explanation for how the mere utterance of the name Piscopo became a universal punch line, they need look no further than this film. The man was clearly intended as the comic foil to Williams' stoic zombie cop character, yet he doesn't say or do one funny thing in the whole film. Not one. Instead he spends the film standing around with an "I just farted" smirk on his face while tossing out one poorly written throw-away joke after another. Still, there's an oddly satisfying joy to watching a man commit career suicide right in front of your eyes. And while Piscopo lulls us into suicidal thoughts with his un-funniness, Treat Williams slowly rots while shooting at things. Keep your eyes out for appearances by Vincent Price(?!!!), Darren McGavin, and Robert Picardo (the hologram doctor from Star Trek: Voyager)

TROLL 2, 1990

Starring a bunch of random people plucked off the street

PLOT:

In the first example of such a practice that I've ever heard of, a family agrees to a house swap vacation with a hillbilly family out in the sticks. Once settled in on their country vacation in the quaint town of Nilbog (read it backwards), the family falls prey to a mystical conspiracy rife with vegetarian goblins (but oddly no trolls) and other weird shit. Thanks to some sage guidance from the ghost of his recently deceased grandfather, son Joshua is on to the malevolent machinations of the goblins, who aim to turn people into plants so that they can eat them.

MY TAKE:

Some have called this the Citizen Kane of bad movies. I would have to concur. The vid embed below can sum the whole debacle up way better than I ever could.

SLEEPAWAY CAMP, 1983

Starring A bunch of aggro guido kids from Jersey

PLOT:

Rendered extremely shy and near mute after a traumatic childhood tragedy, young and fragile Angela attends summer camp along with her protective cousin, Ricky only to fall prey to the cruel taunts of her fellow campers and the pedophillic advances of the camp cook. Soon, anyone guilty of crossing Angela winds up dead. Are Angela and Ricky exacting revenge on their camp enemies or is there a far more insidious culprit on the loose?

MY TAKE:

While many have written Sleepaway Camp off as a the poor man's Friday The 13th, I can't really see where the comparison comes from. Apart from the two films being about people getting chopped up at summer camps, the similarities end there. So while you don't get any brutish, masked madmen, you do get a bunch of angry guido kids who can't act as well as a meat head camp counselor with an affinity for wearing extremely tight shorts. Much like Troll 2, I feel like they cast this film by pulling into a mall parking lot in a flat bed truck with a sign on it that read: WANNA BE IN A MOVIE? GET IN THE TRUCK! Hilariously bad acting aside, the other part of this flick that makes it worth checking out is the ending, which is one of the most batshit-crazy conclusions that I've ever seen committed to celluloid. Trust me on this one - you NEED to see this ending. If The Sopranos ended like Sleepaway Camp, I guarantee that nobody would've complained.

Awkward Family Photos.com

This site will blow your fucking mind. The picture above is only the tip of the iceberg.

AWKWARDFAMILYPHOTOS.COM

Pigeons 'n' Puke

Just thought I'd share this lovely photo I snapped of some pigeons enjoying a puke breakfast in the parking lot of the Del Taco on Highland and Santa Monica. Mmm mmmm!

click to enlarge!

X-Men Origins: Wolverine

Don't. Just... don't.

Buddy Rich vs Ed Shaughnessy On Carson

Whenever I'm feeling like there's anything remotely cool about my life, I get things like this emailed to me so that I may be once again reminded of just how retardedly lame and insignificant my existence actually is compared to people like this. Prepare to have your asses blown off...

Yes, I Own An Album Titled "Genclik Ile Elele"...

This is Mustafa Ozkent's Genclik Ile Elele. Put it on and the carpeting in your house will sprout into shag and you will instantly want to put some polyester on and start leering at middle aged women at the laundromat. That probably makes no sense, but it will after you've given this thing a spin. Click the link below for a taste:

Burçak Tarlalarl

The Talking Dr. Laura Doll

You wanna have a pissing match over who owns the most ridiculously and mind numbingly stupid tchotchke? You wanna call out the fuckin' thunder? Go ahead because I guarantee you that I win. I've won before the competition even begins. And that's because I own the goddamn motherfucking Talking Dr. Laura Doll. That's right, shut up and go home.